A Real Man Never Hits A Woman!

Physical abuse is a very touchy subject. Many women experience it, but none deserve it. It is a senseless and heartless act and is a sign of a true coward. Women are already faced with the day to day challenges of being a woman and to have added pressure from a careless figure of a man is totally unnecessary.

It is a very hurtful thing to know that a man has hit someone you care about so deeply.

There are many excuses men use to justify hitting women, but none of them are legitimate. Some would even go as far as saying, “That’s how I was brought up. So this is normal.”

This is NOT normal. It’s a mental sickness that needs to be rectified.

An abusive man is a person who is controlling and possessive. Who tries to control his woman day-to-day life.  He wants to know her every location, how long was she there, who did she see and who did she meet. He controls what she wears and who she goes out with. And sometimes to the point where she can’t even see her family. He isolates her so she can become dependent on him.

When a man hits a woman, it gives him a measurement of his control. He is not treating her with respect. Instead of her being his equal, she allows him to place himself above her while she becomes the peasant. And the only reason why this happens is because those women allow it.

Truth be told, a man wouldn’t want someone hitting his daughter, so he shouldn’t hit someone else’s.

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50 responses

  1. I’ve been reading this blog in the shadows for a while now, so it’s about time that I have commented on this, as it was a topic of discussion a while ago especially since we read about these things on almost daily bases.

    I myself have been brought up in a house where no one ever raised his hand on anyone else, we were never hit by our parents and we turned out just find my parents raised all 5 of us with maturity and by discussion even when we did something wrong we would be sat down, got yelled at- on extreme cases- and what we had done would be explained to us even when we were kids. On some cases we would be grounded and that’s just about it.

    Me being the middle one and at age 22 now, I would say that this is the best way to raise a child I got to see how my older brothers have turned out, experienced it myself and also witness the method on my younger siblings, so I can with no doubt say that no hitting creates the best environment for raising a child and doesn’t create any family issues on the long run-whether they were for the children or the partner- and it is a method that I would be following whether it was with my future kids or my future spouse.

    WOW… I guess I made it long and I should stop babbling now … sorry for that and have a nice day :)

    • You’re absolutely right.
      Yes no adult should hit another! Just like we tell our kids not to hit, we shouldn’t either!!

      We should have (Stop the Violence) campaign. Verbal and physical abuse should not be allowed in this country.

      Just stand out and let abuser know that we know who they are and DO NOT APPROVE of their actions. yell it loud.

      Glad to have you as a reader. next time, Please leave more comments :)
      Welcome to my blog.

      PS; I’m sure you’re gonna be a great parent ;)

  2. I agree that a man who physically abuses a woman is not a man at all. Treating the situation in a civilized manner by talking about it is the solution to any problem.

    Sadly we cant control what happens in every household and its really none of our business but all i can think of doing is hoping that every abusive man wakes up to realize hes hitting the mother of his children so he better think twice about the consequences.

  3. People in general shouldn’t raise their voice and hit others, especially when it comes for women, people should be more mature when they do something, think before act to avoid many awful things.

    I think sick people like to control others.

    • Even IF a woman is at fault, a man should have enough self-control and self-respect to never force physical harm on her. This is true for men who are quick tempered, or operate from the premise of ‘This is how you keep your woman in line.’ You’ve CROSSED THE LINE when you subject her to cruelness, and that’s not cool and never is it acceptable.

  4. Go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwhich woman!

    I kid I kid, my dad was always upfront with us about this subject to be honest and he made it very simple to us if you hit a woman don’t even count yourself as a man.

  5. P-Chan, We live in a society of egoistic-ignorant where a woman is an object not a human being,
    Should we shut up on the subject?
    I say NO, we live in the 21 century, not in tents.
    We have a right and we have a voice, we should sound it.
    If God gave Men Muscles, he gave Women the brains ;)
    Any man knows hitting a woman is weak but some weak-mined a$$holes thinks that they show how to discipline by force,
    It’s called persuasion look into it!

    • Everyone has a voice. Some can’t be heard because others are taking it away from them.

      Violence against women in the family is not a private matter and there is no justification for it. It is a human rights abuse which states are obliged to act against under law.

  6. Hello Pisces and everyone! ^_^

    I’ve been reading all the comments and they’re all pretty interesting!

    The perfect little world I’ve created in my head, though a little fantastic, deems all men to be creations made for thought, work and battle.

    It is honorable for a man to fight other men, when challenged and tested by other able men.

    But this honor is only limited to these factors… and no others.

    When a man begins to take the concept of force to a woman… this honor is lost…

    Control is an interesting concept… but I can’t see it in the image of a man hitting a woman. During this, I don’t think said man is trying to gain control… I think he has effectively lost it at that point.

    A very long time ago, I was being disobedient and back-talking at my mother… my older sister sat quietly for a while… and when I took the yelling too far… she stood up, slapped me, and then she cried.

    Women were not meant for battle. This I know for sure.

    Why men would hit someone whom is unable to hit back… is mind boggling… but it is also undoubtedly the very definition of cowardice and dishonor.

    If men were created for thought, work, and battle… then by hitting a woman, he strips himself of thought and battle. And is left with work… which makes him a slave to himself… And that… is very sad.

    Thanks for posting about this Pisces. I apologize for the depth of my thoughts, but it truly is a thought-provoking concept!

  7. well, the only religion that actually order men to hit and beat their wives is Islam. its so clear about this matter. “beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them” Quran, 4:34 its an order !. and you can beat them if you just “doubt” “إن خفتم” even if they did nothing you can beat the hell out of her as long as you don’t leave big marks “Allah didn’t say that” but whatever, just beat them.

    • Hey there Godless Saudi,

      How about instead of reading the Holy Quran and interpreting verses to your liking, you actually read proper explanations (tafseer)?

      الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

      I guess you missed the last part, right?

      وقوله واضربوهن أي إذا لم يرتدعن بالموعظة ولا بالهجران فلكم أن تضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح كما ثبت في صحيح مسلم عن جابر عن النبي صلى أنه قال في حجة الوداع “واتقوا اللّه في النساء فإنهن عندكم عوان ولكم عليهن أن لا يوطئن فرشكم أحدا تكرهونه فإن فعلن فاضربوهن ضربا غير مبرج ولهن رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف”

      I’m sure you’re lazy enough to never touch a book, so here’s a link: http://www.mosshaf.com

      The Holy Quran is written in the original Arabic, not what we currently use, and an explanation must be followed to fully understand the meanings of the verses.

  8. I liked the post.

    Very well written and touched so many emotions inside of me.

    You know I was talking with my sister yesterday about this subject.. we brought up why Madonna got divorced from Sean Penn they seemed like complete soul mates. It was because he was hitting her all the time.

    Yes like you said it’s a mental sickness.. I think he was unable to fight/stand for himself as a child so he’s practising his powers on his spouse/partner/etc.

    God bless us all inshallah

  9. @MBH !

    thanks for that. and what did it say ?! BEAT THEM !
    did i say something else ? i said Islam is the only religion
    that “order” men to beat their women. and you just confirmed that.
    enough said.

    • A truck driver’s license says “Driver” yet after that it does say he’s allowed to drive trucks only. So don’t read one word and stop there, as the verse said to hit them without pain.

      Also there’s a saying from the Prophet Mohammad that the maximum power to use if you had to hit a woman is like hitting her with a very tiny stick that is used to clean the teeth (miswak).

      If You ignore the obvious guidelines, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist and if you had checked the link I gave you, you would have seen that there are penalties on those who hurt their wives.

  10. @MBH

    no he didn’t. read the islamic history and sharia law. i challenge you to find anyone said that. they say you’re allowed yo beat your wife unless you don’t leave marks in other words just don’t cut her or break her nose. and the quran said it so clear ” وإضربوهن” if it wasn’t so cleat your male god would have explain, but its so clear “قران عربيا لعلكم تعقلون” so i guess everyone knows what إضربوهن means right ?
    don’t try to be stupid hun.

    • Ya akhi mishkila elee y2allif…

      This will be my last reply to you. If you’re convinced with the references that I’ll provide, that’s good. If you’re not & still insist on your blasphemous accusations without solid references, then refrain from commenting as it will lead to nothing.

      Reference 1.
      Reference 2.
      Reference 3.

      These are references that I found through a quick search on Google. They include proper explanations to the verses of the Holy Quran and quotes from the Prophet’s sayings.

      Where you try to reason with your own understanding, I have already explained that your understanding is flawed and there exist many explanations (tifaseer) that have gone in depth into such issues, yet you refuse to credit them and you stick to your own version of interpretation.

      Allah yhadeek.

  11. @MBH

    from your beautiful Reference

    “فيه دلالة على أن ضربهن مباح في الجملة ومحل ذلك أن يضربها تأديبا إذا رأى منها ما يكره فيما يجب عليها فيه طاعته”

    “لأن ضرب المرأة إنما أبيح من أجل عصيانها زوجها فيما يجب من حقه عليها

    اضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غير مُبَرِّحٍ وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

    keep on being ignorant and defending your evil religion
    so men could beat his wife and its a “right” for the man to beat his wife unless he don’t break her bones.

    ذئر النساء وساءت أخلاقهن على أزواجهن منذ نهيت عن ضربهن فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ( فاضربوا ) فضرب الناس نساءهم تلك الليلة فأتى نساء كثير يشتكين الضرب فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم حين أصبح : ( لقد طاف بآل محمد الليلة سبعون امرأة كلهن يشتكين الضرب وأيم الله لا تجدون أولئك خياركم ) رواه النسائي في الكبرى ( 9167 ) وصححه ابن حبان (4189) قال الإمام الشافعي -رحمه الله تعالى – : ” فجعل لهم الضرب وجعل لهم العفو وأخبر أن الخيار ترك الضرب ”

    lol ?!!?
    so that’s your prophet ? so after they came crying to him he said ok ok you can beat them but still you can pass lol !!!! wow just wow

    • You’ve picked the general rules and left out the guidelines on how to apply these rules, just so that you could force your opinion.

      Perhaps one day when you learn how to fully read pages and references, rather than nitpicking what suits you, we’ll have another debate.

  12. I think it would have been helpful if you posted resources for people that face abuse. Most women are afraid to speak up and it’s important to give them the options to do something. The where and the how.

  13. Also, another important note (yes I know I’m late to the party), it’s really important to bring up awareness about child abuse, whether be it physical, verbal or even sexual molestation.

    This in itself, can lead to men that would hurt others, because it messes you up as a child and affects you your whole life. Or it can make the people hurt themselves and turn suicidal when the feelings resurface at an older age.

    There really needs to exist a set of resources for these people to turn to, but I can’t say I’ve heard of any.

    • Sorry for the delay in replying!
      Wordpress just messed up the comments.

      Anyway, You’re absolutely right. Everything we experience in our childhood – either good or bad – affect us in life later!

      We should have a Psychiatry & Psychotherapy clinic.

  14. Lets say that a girl is chokeing you. is it ok to punch then lightly in the face to make them let go? for entertainment…
    (\__/)
    ( ^.^ )
    (“)_(“)

  15. i m going through it (physical abuse) …everytym my husband beats me for no reason n says sorry the other moment…but the pain remains in d heart……unable to decide which way should i take ….sigh !!

    • If he’s drunk, get him off alcohol. If he refuses, he just chose alcohol over you.

      If he’s not drunk, he doesn’t deserve you. Violence is not a way to communicate thoughts or express oneself.

      Find someone who appreciates you & treats you well. Someone who if disagreed with you, would sit down with you & discuss it calmly without swearing or yelling or violence.

  16. Frankly (and if comments are moderated I doubt you’ll have the guts to post it), you’re disgusting encouragng abuse the way you are calling people mentally sick for defending themselves.

    Either women want equality or they don’t – and if they don’t, they shouldn’t be allowed to do mens’ jobs. If a woman acts like a man by hitting a man, she should expect to be treated like a man and thus be hit back in self defence. The law recognises that hitting a PERSON (whatever gender) in self defence is acceptable. So grow up and stop insulting everyone who is against violence against men AS WELL AS violence against women.

    And I will teach my future children my views. But unlike you, if they happen to have a different view, I won’t call them mentally sick or insult them for it – I’ll encourage debate.

    • Comments ARE moderated, and see, I posted your comment ^.^

      Just to be clear, I’m not talking about self-defense. I’m talking about violent abusive people that hit as a means of power and control. And yes, they’re mentally ill.

      My post does not talk about self-defense.

      Thank you for passing by.

  17. Pingback: Is It Normal For a Man To Slap His Wife? | Pisces Chick World

  18. Now why would we blame it all on the man? Some woman really deserve beating & i don;t mean breaking her bones! But really I’ve seen women who swear & cuss at her husband, wouldn’t you slap her yourself? I would!

    “nakeraten lel3asheer” or smth semilar! It’s when a woman starts complaining about her husband when he’s providing everything for her (clothes, house & food).

    Yes some men are sick & they beat their wives just because it makes them feel powerful! But there are women who are sicker & you seriously have to beat them or slap them to make them feel a lil bit of humiliation for what they’re doing to their husbands!

    MBH said it right & i totally agree with her!

    Not that ignorant Godless Saudi al7mdella wesheker 3la such mentality!

  19. Ow this is so painfully true,i live this every damn day and im so sick of it! But dont know how to get of this man i let into my life. I have a child with him,and ive put up with enough crap to sAy that im done with this “relation”, he dont get the Things he put me true for the last 5 years. And its like im talking to a wall when i express my feelings,and that its not good how he treats me. He spits at me,hit me,calls me names,pull my hair,degrates me,even in public, and WHY??? If i would say that its not good to hit A womAn he says; some woman deserve it….and why Do i deserve this? Im so angry,i cant wear to “much” makeup,cant wear heels,i dont go out,he hates my family, and dont have much of a social life right now. And he always thinks im cheating ;s well i dont. How do i make him understand that i wont put up with this shit anymore? Help

    • Trica,

      Whatever you’re going through and need to know what to do has already been said in the comments above. Please read them and make sure to put yourself as the high priority not your abusive husband.

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